Home Sweet Home

Finally settled into Nick and Audrey's. I finally FINALLY again have my own room in a home that isn't my mom's. DAMN it feel's good!! I think this is going to work out extremely well and I am WAY excited about it. Already, we're noticing how much better the financial situation is and I don't really think I could be happier.


I ALSO was told today that I am going into ASSISTANT MANAGER TRAINING NEXT WEEK!!!! =DDDDD


YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY NEW AWESOME HOME AND NEW AWESOME PROMOTION!!!!


I don't really have a whole lot more than that to say.


New apartment, promotion...


Tomorrow I will be going FULL BLOWN grocery shopping and making dinner for Kyle who is spending the night. I love him so much. I think I have this subconscious rule that I have to mention how much I love Kyle in every blog.... I am so pathetic.




Anyway, I don't really see any point in droning on when I don't have any actual readers.


Speaking of readers, though, I am noticing a whole lot of unaccounted for views. If you ARE for whatever reason keeping up with my blog 1) who the hell are you!? 2) why the hell do you care!? 3) leave a comment to answer those two questions! =D


If you AREN'T a regular reader (I can't believe anyone is) then uhm. Well that makes more sense.

Never Help a Stranger

WOW is there so much to say.


I'm writing this blog from Erika's apartment. But I'm on my bed. WHAT!


Yea, I decided it was high time I left my mom's house. My stepdad has been telling me for a long time that I need to find a new job and for a long time I was looking for a new job as they wanted me to. But when the opportunity for a promotion arose, I was just very unwilling to sacrifice the chance and I told them that I would not continue to look; I wanted the promotion. My mom's husbands response to this was to declare that I was not welcome to use their car to get to work past May 4th. That if I wouldn't put in my two weeks, I wouldn't be allowed to be able to get to work anyhow. So I told them I would be staying with Erika's.


It has been a messy situation and many harsh words were said. My mom, of course, is siding with him. I fully understand the merit of wanting me to not work so far from home for only minimum wage and be a drain on their resources in the mean time. Which is why I was obliging in searching for a job in the first place. But for them to completely deny me the opportunity at a really great promotion, moreover flat out TELL me that they had no faith in my chances at the promotion in the first place, I decided it was best for everyone involved for me to get out of their hair so I made other arrangements.


For the time being I am staying in Erika's studio in S. Phoenix until Audrey and Nick have their old roommate out of their place and his room cleaned up. For the safety of my dog and my belongings, Kyle and I are moving me out completely tomorrow. As for my relationship with my mom and her husband, in the case of the former it is severely strained. Her lack of support or backup is something that I can't overlook. In the case of the latter, FUCK HIM. We have been on this obnoxious merry-go-round of mutual respect and mutual hatred for far too long and I am done trying with him. As far as I'm concerned, he is (again) only the guy my mom happens to be married to. I have nothing left for him and if I never talk to him again it would be too soon.


Regarding being here, it is alright. I haven't yet had to start busing but when I do, I don't anticipate a whole lot of trouble. For now I am just glad to get to spend some time with her. Hopefully it won't interfere too much with my sleep. Regarding moving into Audrey's, I can't WAIT. I am SO excited. I get to play grown up again for the first time in more than a year and I get to spend a lot of time with a super great friend WHILE having the privacy of my own bedroom.


I submitted my application for my promotion. I am going to be a nervous wreck until I hear back. Everyone is giving me very positive feedback, though, so I hope that it all works out for me.




I REALLY love my friends who have all been such rockstars through this whole ordeal. Thank you so much, Alyssa, Audrey, Erika and Kyle. I love you guys to death.






SHIT! After I published this I TOTALLY forgot to tell what happened that made me choose this title!!


Anyway. Walking from work to the grocery store I watched a guy run out of gas. On my way back from the store he stopped and asked if I had any cash to spare so he could get a gallon of gas. I told him I did not but that he could use my gas can. He promised to bring it back and never did. This story is so much less exciting in hindsight.

Draw Moar Things

This game is making me be more creative than I ever was before. I totally love it.

Not a whole lot else to update on. Up for the promotion. Feeling up and down about it. Good days and bad days. All I can do is bust my ass until then and hope it takes me in the right direction. May or may not be going to stay with Erika due to clashing with my folks but again, it all just remains to be seen.


Dig the three dimensional stairs? Kind of a shitty job, but I am FUCKING proud of it.

No, but seriously

How weird is it to creep on other people's lives.
I don't think there is anyone I know whose mundane goings-on are too terribly interesting for me to want to obsessively follow their updates.
Mine sure the fuck aren't.


That's all.

Promotion, I guess?

Today we had our quarterly associates training meeting and some really great changes are going to be made.


Yesterday, Alyssa explained to me that I was possibly going to receive a promotion to an assistant manager position and would receive a dollar forty per hour pay raise, but also that our commissions would be cut on cellphone sales, not totally making the pay raise mean a whole lot. But still, a pay increase is a pay increase and an official management title would look amazing on my resume. What she left out was the fact that each individual associate would be scrutinized less for their sales numbers and the store's sales metrics as a whole would culminate in HUGE monthly bonuses for every team member and selling standards were being changed on top of other things to make our jobs SO much easier and our morale SO much higher. While I am not giving up totally on looking for a better opportunity for myself, I am so much happier with where I am knowing the steps that are being taken in the company and what they mean for me personally.


Along the lines of still keeping my eye on better options, I was reassured today that I still have the opportunity at the Prima Vera online high school job with Cindy. AIMS testing and being sick has preoccupied her for a while but I was told today that she's still working on getting me the answers I need and still wants to help me with this opportunity. It is a huge relief to know this is still a possibility because it would just be setting me up so hugely.


Today I also got to spend some time with Kyle today. That's always important to mention because it's the best part of any day.

I Love My Boyfriend

So this weekend, I spent a whole lot of time with Kyle.

I got to his house at 11:30 and we had lunch before going to a workshop for his teaching internship. The intention was for us to go from there to the mall then out to dinner before going to a movie but the workshop ended up ending early and we had a bit more time to kill than we liked so we went back home and.... PLAYED CRASH BANDICOOT 2: CORTEX STRIKES BACK!!!

Have I ever mentioned I have the best boyfriend ever?

So we played that for a while before heading out to dinner. We ate Johnny Rockets and had milkshakes. It was very delicious. He had never dipped French fries in ranch before!

Then we headed to our movie. We saw The Bully Project. Oooohhh my God, I loved the movie. It was so eye-opening and emotional. I cried several times as did many other people in the theater. There was also a scene where a school administrator was being, for lack of a better term, a tremendous TWAT and the whole audience raged hard. It was pretty satisfying to see her ignorance incite such a reaction.

After the movie, Kyle and I spent a great deal of time talking about it (even still talking about it as I write this) and went home to spend a wonderful night together. Saturday morning we woke up and spent the day watching tv and talking and playing games-just being generally lazy until I had to leave for work. He is such a great boyfriend. I hope I get to keep him for a long time.

Unfortunately Saturday night I also ended up getting sick and having to leave work early and calling out on Sunday. Some sort of 24 hour stomach virus, I suspect. Feeling much better now, though, and will likely go in tomorrow for some extra hours.

Ultimately, apart from the vomiting, it was a wonderful weekend.

Putting It Away

Giving up on this for a while.
Not sure when or if I will pick it back up.

Boring Ol' Update

I don't really have anything new to discuss.
Comme d'habitude my life has been mostly consumed by work and sleep peppered with seeing Kyle and playing Roller Coaster Tycoon.


I may or may not go see some friends tomorrow. Everyone is going to Patrick's house to apparently watch anime. On the one hand I really don't want to miss out on an opportunity to see Patrick, Erika and Tim. On the other hand, I really don't want to sit at Patrick's house and watch anime. Seems like a bum time and a waste of a drive to Tempe. I don't know, I'll figure it out.


I also may or may not house sit for Audrey and Nick next weekend while they're out of town. They're going to get back to me on whether or not they need me to.


Otherwise, doesn't seem like there is a whole lot to post about. Nothing seems glaringly important to mention.


The new girl at work, Danielle, seems to be working out very well. New AT&T and Verizon reps seem to be as well.


Titanic is only showing in 3D. HUGE disappointment.


Uh.. yea. I guess that's pretty much it.

Draw Something Tips and Tricks

You may have noticed as I have that the smartphone game Draw Something has become somewhat of a craze. Everyone I know is playing it and I'm even seeing celebrities talk about it on twitter and customers talking about it in my store. It's huge!


I too have fallen victim to the pull this game has and I have picked up on a few tips to make the game a little easier.


FIRST:
When choosing which word to draw, make sure you know how to draw it. I have come across this several times; I know what a hippo looks like and what a furby looks like and what jenga looks like. I assumed, because I could picture these things very clearly, that they would be a cinch to draw. When it came to it, however, I struggled with all three of these words to make the pictures resemble in any way the actual object I was trying to draw. You will serve yourself well to pen out a rough sketch before selecting the word to make sure it is in fact something you can draw.

You may think dandruff seems a fairly easy word to draw.

Of course you know what dandruff looks like.

But in practice, would it work in the game?

SECOND:
Do not be afraid to utilize Google images. You know you know what a trombone looks like. You know you know what a rooster looks like. But when it comes time to draw, you may not be able to recall the exact proper shapes of things. Pulling the image up in front of you to use as a guide could prove invaluable to make sure your opponent doesn't see a wonky trumpet or a stunted turkey. HOWEVER, don't use Google to find out what something looks like when you don't already know. This isn't, of course, an official Draw Something rule. But it is cheating and lame and makes you a dick.


THIRD:
Keep your drawings simple. Get to the point. If your opponent has to sit for a while and wait for your overly detailed picture to finally portray the word, they could lose interest. It could over-complicate your word and make it harder for them to ultimately correctly guess.

You COULD draw a figure skater, a gymnast, a swimmer and a runner to

depict the olympic games,but the simple universal symbol of the olympic rings

is a much simpler and easier to guess way to draw the word.

FOURTH:

Once you've drawn your base picture, by all means feel free to add details on after the fact. It can sate your desire to create an elaborate illustration without frustrating your opponent or make it easier for them to guess if they couldn't quite understand your original picture.

The word "hospital" seems simple enough to draw,

but if you, like me, think that the picture you drew

wasn't quite enough to help your opponent guess, adding

another detail, in this case an ambulance, is a prefect way to help.

FIFTH:
If you're able to, draw more than one example. If you're drawing the word dinosaur, they could get hung up on t-rex if that's what they see. Drawing a t-rex and then a stegosaurus will help your opponent to generalize a more general word than complicate the drawing with a specific. This is also helpful if your first example turns out worse than you hoped it would be. Rather than redrawing a poorly drawn t-rex, moving on to a new example could greatly benefit you and your opponent. This is also an especially good tip for words which could mean more than one thing. If your word is stand, you could draw one person sitting and one person standing with an arrow to the standing person, and then for good measure, a night stand.

The first flower could be seen as "daisy" where having

the variety lets the opponent know to think more generally.

SIXTH:

Feel free to write guide words. If you are struggling to illustrate your word effectively, writing sound effect or identifying another object in the picture could help to clarify what you are trying to represent. Adding "HI YA!" to the weird twisted stick figure intended to represent kung fu can help your opponent fully understand what you're trying to convey.

The bottle half full of mysterious redness could mean anything!

Adding the word "caliente" could let your opponent know they are looking

at something hot and possibly Hispanic. Hot sauce!

SEVENTH:

Unlike the previous tip wherein I encourage guide words, one of my most important rules in the game is DO NOT SIMPLY WRITE THE WORD. Do I honestly need to elaborate on that? It's lame. No one wants to play with someone that lame. Because. Dude. Really. Lame!

Not only did this kid write out the word,

(no doubt choosing the three-point word regardless of what it was)

he also gave up right away on my pretty evident picture of an airbag, complete with arrows.

EIGHTH:

If your drawing is one which includes multiple elements within it to clarify the word you are illustrating, by all means feel free to use arrows to indicate exactly which is the symbol they are intended to identify.

Rain, umbrella or galoshes could all be fair guesses in this picture.

The arrows let you or your opponent know

exactly which element is to be identified.

NINTH:

If you are at the point where you have to choose the word you will draw and you really don't like any of your options you can simply back out of the game. When you close and then reopen the app and go back into the same game, you will be given a whole new selection of words from which to choose. If you don't have any bombs or don't want to use them to give yourself new words this is a far better option than choosing a word you will struggle to draw and possibly losing out on points.

TENTH:

Again, if you are out of bombs or don't want to use the ones you have and you are trying to guess someone else's drawing, here is a tip I have found MOST helpful. Write down the letters you are being shown and then back out of the app. Go back into the game and you will find that you have been given an entirely new group of letters. Simply compare those letters to the ones previously written down to find which ones remained to get you closer to the right answer.

If you are struggling to figure out your opponent's drawing, use this hint 

to give you a better shot. AFOOSY are the only letters in common

from one group to the other. This makes it easier to deduce that

the drawing represented is, of course, sofa.

ELEVENTH:

This application only includes so many words. Keep in mind the ones you notice recurring like sheriff and soulmate and if you are stumped, just try and see what words you can unscramble from the letters you are given. If you catch onto a word you know is in the game, just try it. You could luck out.

My best guess for this picture would be some sort of radioactive horse

but having come across the word dinosaur on several

occasions in this game previously, I am able

to guess that that might be what this is.

TWELFTH:

Pay attention to the way your gamemates draw things you have had trouble drawing. If you skipped drawing jordan because you weren't quite sure how and you have an opponent draw a Michael Jordan jersey or the Air Jordan logo, why not use that for yourself in the future? Making note of the way others play could absolutely help you become better at the game.

THIRTEENTH:

If you have friends you know play the game, play with them! It will be fun for you guys. You can have a second brain to help you figure out drawings from other games with the added bonus of being able to personally ask for or provide hints or answers if one of you has stumped the other or the drawing goes wonky or gets sent uncompleted.

Because this game was against a personal friend, he was

able to tell me what his incomplete drawing was intended to be.

Were this game against a stranger, I would have been SOL unless I utilized

tip ten.

FOURTEENTH:

When it isn't your turn in any of the games you have going on and you really want to play, or if you need more colors or bombs and are trying to quickly rack up coins, start games with strangers. It's fun. It gives you more people to play with, more opportunities to pick up on different ways to play. It gives you practice drawing and you have a good time getting to play even when none of your friends have taken their turn.

I don't know any one of these people, but guessing their drawings helps me with

my own ideas and drawing for them gives me practice. Not to

mention the fact that we all get coins!

FIFTEENTH:

Have fun and be silly. Write "lol" on your drawing if you thought your opponent's was particularly cute and clever. If you notice a word that can be made from the letters you're given, punch it in even if you know it's wrong to give your opponent a little entertainment when they are watching you guess your word. This is a game, afterall, and just because it isn't being played face to face doesn't mean you can't still have a fun and silly time.

Obviously, "nooo" isn't a real word option in the game. But if you

notice it's there and it's funny, throw it up! Why not?

SIXTEENTH:

Final tip, which may not even need to be said but I will say because I was dumb enough to not be able to figure out on my own, scroll your colors side to side to see all of the ones you've purchased. They didn't just go away. You still have blue...... >.>

That's it. That's all I got. If you have any other tips of your own or anything to add to or say about mine or anything else for that matter, please feel free to leave a comment.

Special thanks to Mike, Katie, Erika, Alexis, Tuna and all the great people I play this game with who have helped me develop these techniques and allowing me to demonstrate with visual aids in this entry.

Extra special thanks to Kyle for collaborating with me on this and being a damn good opponent and an even better boyfriend.

Shame on you, Jake I. for not even trying to have fun with this game.

Oh Gawd!

Holy shit, guys (Kyle and Stephen), I'm sorry it's been so long.


I explained that this happens. I just can't be bothered to keep it going. I don't have the motivation or strong desire to actually follow through with regular updates.
Which is incredibly unfortunate because my life has been WILD lately!! (Even as I'm sitting here preparing to write this post, I am having to stave off the urge to just close this window and do something more entertaining. Like watch the new episode of South Park. Or play Spider Solitaire.)


So let's see. I guess I will go backwards. Because I know I will leave a million things out, so I guess I need to just try to retrace my steps.


Okay so. Hm. 
-----
HA! And three nights later, I return to writing this.


ARGH.




I had Kyle over last night. My mom said not long ago that she wanted to spend time with him again so I invited him over so we could all spend time together. She ended up not really doing a whole lot with us though, which frankly quite upsets me. But that's okay, it was an opportunity for me to see my boyfriend and that will always be a good thing.
He got me a copy of Roller Coaster Tycoon and Roller Coaster Tycoon 2 last week and last night he brought over a DIFFERENT copy of Roller Coaster Tycoon 2 which included levels from the first game and a save game editor and some other great stuff. A night well spent. In the end it was cut a little short because we were having some friends in crisis and Kyle went to save the day. He's great like that.


Also recently, Becca came back from Japan. Becca and I have been best friends for ten years and it was wonderful to have her back. I got to see her three times; once I drove to her apartment and we chatted and caught up before going to her parents house to see her family. Then Kyle and I went to Tempe so he could meet her. We went out for sushi and had a pretty brilliant time. I feel like they really enjoyed one another's company and that's really important to me. Lastly, I went to a dinner with her, her parents and one of her other best friends, Sarah. Again, a totally fantastic time. She's back in Japan now but the time I got to spend with her was wonderful and I look forward to her coming back home.


Along the same lines, Becca's mom is trying to help me get a job at the online high school where she works. I would be working a regular 9-5 job and they would let me live with them and it would be a really great way to get my life back on track. It's still something that remains to be seen but we're hoping.


There is a new girl started at work. She seems like she will be pretty good at the job and it's a huge fucking relief to be fully staffed again.


Nothing else is coming to mind. I will try to keep this more up to date. I've just lost motivation for it. Hopefully that will be a passing phase.


I also considered the possibility of writing a blog for Tips and Tricks for Draw Something. But that idea quickly came to feel very stupid.


Until next time.

I Am Suck

I need to update. I need to update. I need to update. I am so sleepy. Tomorrow.

Never Never Never Drive a Car With No Gas Gauge

You may THINK you know how many miles you get to the gallon. You may THINK you're keeping track of how much is in your tank and how far that will get you. You may THINK you can remember the exact mile on your odometer at which you need to fill. You may THINK you can keep all these things straight. But if you're me, you're WRONG.




The last couple days have been absolute shit. Couldn't be assed to blog last night because I was beat to death from an eleven hour shift and I just needed to go to BED. Eleven is too many hours. Dear God, how did Alyssa survive at all. D= My whole everything hurt by the time I got home. And the actual work day itself wasn't that great. Didn't get much of anything accomplished and no shining star sales. I was able to take my lunch break and go to the doctor with Kyle about his throat. Get this! It's a mystery! She couldn't figure out what was wrong. She said it was definitely visibly an infection but what the Hell kind she didn't know. Tested negative for strep, she said she was confident that it wasn't mono and that externally his thyroid looked just fine. She gave him antibiotics and told him to come back if it didn't get better. IT'S A MYSTERY!


It was so sucky seeing him so sick and unhappy yesterday. It was AWESOME getting to see him perked up tonight. His color was back and he sounded better and seemed all over to be doing quite well. It was total HELL on both occasions to not be able to kiss him. I haven't kissed him in TEN DAYS! D= Hopefully come Saturday he will be okay and we can spend the day together. Hopefully.


Today was a pretty uneventful day. I got a pretty magical night's sleep so the day wasn't very hard. Not a lot happened. After work, hung out with Kyle for a bit and got frozen yogurt. On my way home, though, I ran out of gas. I was ALMOST home and the car just crapped out. Started decelerating and wouldn't respond to anything. Pulled off the road and tried to restart it, got nothing. Called my mom and she came and got me and took me to get a gas can and some gas for the car. Got home, undressed and here I am.


There's probably more I could say about the last couple days but it isn't coming to mind. I'm tired anyhow.

The Last Is My Least Favorite Minute

On Valentine's Day, I was pulled over for doing 90 on the 303.

Now, don't get me wrong, I don't mean to justify my crime; speeding is speeding and I was definitely speeding. I acknowledge that and I'm not proud. But you have to keep in mind that late at night there is NO ONE on the 303. Like. No one. Except sometimes, cops.

So I got pulled over and was cited for civil speeding even though it was definitely criminal. Guy knocked it down for me. Thanks, guy.

I opted for the defensive driving course rather than accept and pay the fine. Thing is, these classes are expensive and I'm in debt to my collar bone. So I was only just able to scrape up the money to begin this course today. Two days before it's due. I. Suck.

The biggest problem I am having is that it is required by state law that the online courses last a minimum of four hours. I read quite fast, you see and am able to finish reading a course section fairly quickly. Once I finish reading a section, I am required to just. Wait. It's insanely annoying. I have to just wait. I can't continue on. I can't finish up. I have to wait. So that they can know I spent four hours on the course. Forgive me if the rest of this post seems scatterbrained. I will be writing it during those periods in which I am just WAITING to be allowed to continue my course. Unless I finish in the next 14 minutes. That's how much longer I have to wait.

Work still sucks. My back hurts and my eyes hurt and my soul hurts and I am tired and my mom remarks daily on the bags under my eyes. I hate this. As soon as I have some time to myself, I am going to finish my resume and start submitting it. If I am going to be busting my ass the way I am, I can make a few bucks more an hour and do it a bit closer to home. Alyssa is totally killing me. I love her to death and she is one of my best friends in the world but she spends entirely too much time doing absolutely nothing. I really don't want all my frustration from the situation to couple onto her lack of work and motivation and lead to a strain on our friendship. I need to just GTFO.

My dog is doing AWESOME. He is SO much better than I was expecting him to be post-op. He hasn't had any problem with not licking his stitches and he isn't any less active or playful or happy. He seems to be in perfect condition and I am SO glad. The only thing wrong is that he is lonely and misses the other dogs but tomorrow he will be allowed to play again and he should be right as rain. We only hope it will mean that he is more tame and less aggressive as is the goal of the sterilization. Finger crossed!

My sister is in town. She and I have eaten about thirty Doritos Locos tacos. We've also bickered a lot. Some things never change. While nothing all that hugely exciting has happened regarding her being here apart from just her being here, I am thrilled to have gotten to see her. I love my sister dearly and it's a joy to have her in the next room. Hopefully before she leaves on Sunday, she'll have had a chance to meet Kyle.

Kyle, who unfortunately is quite sick right now. It breaks my heart to know someone I love so much is feeling so crappy. He has been getting steadily worse since Thursday evening, culminating today in him coughing up blood. He will be seeing a doctor tomorrow to see what's wrong. Holding my breath until then. Kyle, honey, I love you dearly. Feel better soon, my love.

Lastly, I suppose I will mention what happened to me at Office Max today. For the sake of getting it out of the way, I will just copy the tale as it was told to Kyle so excuse the choppy tone. It's just how I talk.

So my mom asked me to bring her home tax software. I TOLD HER I couldn't afford to bring her any; that I would need to empty my bank account into the tank tonight and didn't have the money. But she insisted I could afford it and she would give me gas money when she paid me back. I get to Office Max and the Turbo Tax is on display right as you come through the door. But the cheapest one I can't afford. So I stand there while I try calling my mom. The guy at the counter asks if I'm ready to check out. Note, I'm not standing in line. I am standing in front of the Turbo Tax display and on the phone. Not in line. The guy asks if I'm ready to check out and I say no. So he makes a VERY obvious noise of impatience and rolls his eyes and walks away. My mom doesn't answer the phone so I put my phone away, contemplate for a minute and then ask the guy if he has anything besides Turbo Tax. He says "Uh. Yea. H and R." I ask where it is. He points behind me. I turn and see no tax software. When I look harder I see it WAY THE SHIT DOWN after like three other displays. Like a vague point in the general direction is going to tell me that. So I go there, see I can afford the basic one and see the box says display box only. I go BACK to the counter where the guy is just sitting on the counter not doing shit. I tell him I want to buy the basic H and R software. He says "Where is it?" I look at him with an are-you-fucking-kidding-me-guy look and explain about the display box so he stomps away to get it for me. Comes back and NO SHIT. TOTALLY SERIOUS. NOT KIDDING AT ALL. FUCKER SITS DOWN ON THE COUNTER FACING AWAY FROM ME AS HE RINGS ME OUT.

I've noticed I have been getting a handful of unexpected views. I acknowledge that this is probably just a fluke and no one is ACTUALLY reading this garbage, but on the offchance that you are reading this, it would be totally awesome for you to leave a comment and let me know you read it. Let me know if you liked it. Let me know if you think I should shut up. Whatever you wanna do. Up to you.

Good night.

So Long, Manhood.

At this exact moment, my mom is drunkenly talking to my step-dad's friend about how everyone is going to die.


Yesterday was a pretty awful day. I don't remember all the details, though. Hopefully someday I get in the habit of blogging or journaling daily so that this doesn't happen. That is, of course, the goal of this project. We'll see how it works out for me. Ultimately, though, the worst part of yesterday was various aspects of how much I hate my job. I "verbally" attacked a customer when I let him know that I didn't intend to tolerate his harassment. Whether or not he contacts my higher ups remains to be seen but suffice it to say, I am confident my HR department will stand behind me that I was within my rights in defending myself against his verbal harassment.


Audrey is still out recovering from her surgery and Alyssa and I have been fairly unmotivated when it comes to the mountain of tasks we have to take care of. It's really a shame. But we're just so burnt out. She and I both are working well into overtime in the absence of our only other associate. To show up and stay conscious is about the best I can do right now.


During the heavy workload of the upcoming weeks, I won't really have any time to see Kyle. We had planned originally for me to spend the night with him tomorrow night so that we could get our fill of one another on my only day off before we aren't really able to see one another for a while. He started feeling sick this morning, however, so we aren't sure if we will be able to do that. It's really pretty heartbreaking. I get to see him only a couple times a week and that isn't near enough. It's going to be terribly hard to go more than a week without seeing him. That hasn't happened since November. He says he would come by the store to see me while I'm at work, but I think that is incredibly inconvenient for him and kind of a waste of his time. We'll see, I guess.


My sister is due here in less than 48 hours. Again, because of my work schedule, I will have insanely little time for her but I am totally thrilled that I will get to see her. Of all the people in the entire world, there isn't anyone I love as much as I love her or who loves me as much as she does. I don't want to think about the fact that she is only going to be here for a week. Right now, I'm just focusing on how totally excited I am.


Today I took my dog to get fixed. I took him to a mobile Spay and Neuter clinic because it was by far the least expensive thing I found. I had to wake up at five am. I was up Skyping with Kyle until eleven pm and reading The Merchant of Venice for a while after that. Five came WAYtoo early. I packed him in the car and headed the thirty miles to the mobile clinic. Once there, we got in line and the dog in front of us and behind us were both bullying Finch. He is already an incredibly timid dog. When the woman put the lead around him and pulled him into the van, he was shaking and crying. I felt like the biggest asshole in the world. I went and hung out with two of my dearest friends Erika and Stephen while waiting for him to be done. So far, he is doing okay. He doesn't seem to be in too much pain or he is handling it very well. He is a pitiful mess in his cone, but he is being good about not licking with it off so we may not have to do that.


I was also invited today to join a fantasy baseball league. I am very weary about this because I don't know how confident I am in my ability to draft. I don't really follow baseball insofar as I only just follow the Diamondbacks and become used to the NL West as consequence. I don't know if I can handle the time investment and the other people in the league are strangers apart from the commissioner so I don't really know. I guess I will keep you posted on that. I think as long as I get in before the draft next weekend, I have time to mull it over and acquaint myself a bit better with the rules.


I think that's about it... I don't know if there is anything else important to mention. Covered today for the most part, covered yesterday as much as needed. I suppose I will conclude-
NO!
As I mentioned, I was reading The Merchant of Venice.
I LOVE Shakespeare and I have intended for many years to read The Merchant of Venice because the first EVER appearance of the name Jessica is the merchant's daughter. I LOVE the fact that my name is Shakespearean because I LOVE Shakespeare. So now that Kyle is reading it in his Shakespeare class, I am reading it along with him. By which I mean I am on Act III Scene III and he hasn't started it yet. I've agreed to wait for him to catch up. I've found it a surprisingly easy read relative to other Shakespeare works I've read. So at least there's that.

WA#1 Cont.

Shut up!
I know I said I would post every Tuesday. But I ALSO said I would post at least once a week. And I am exceeding that. So get off my BACK!


Anyway, I couldn't post last night because I was out way the Hell too late. Kyle had a bad day at school and wanted to see me after I got off work and after going out for frozen yogurt and hanging around Target, we ended up sitting in his car until one in the morning. By the time I got home I was beat to death and wouldn't have been able to write anything coherent.


Where did I leave off previously? I think I said we kissed but weren't dating.


Now I have to give a bit of insight. Kyle has been in one previous relationship. And it was apparently an insanely dysfunctional and manipulative one. When he tells me stories of his ex, I actually get pretty mad at all the mindgames she played and everything he was put through.
My romantic past isn't much nicer. He has trust issues. I have self-esteem issues. Neither of us was really emotionally ready or mentally equipped to get involved with someone else.


So after that completely awesome night, we didn't make any decisions. We just continued seeing each other as frequently as we were able. Where previously we were hanging out once a month, it was now once a week or more. We'd discussed our pasts and he explained his hesitation to be in a relationship with me. I understood his reasons and was willing to wait. At the end of the day, when the person you're holding and kissing and loving is smiling right at you, it's not really a matter of consequence what our social titles are.


We spent Christmas together. He outdid everyone else in my life combined in his gifts to me; A HUGE Marvel character encyclopedia, a HUGE book on the X-Men and a HUGE body pillow. I just got him a crappy little pillow and a crappy little coffee cup. =( The night itself, though, was more perfect than I could have dreamed. After that night, my feelings for him escalated pretty intensely and it became more than evident to those close to me that I had real intentions of being with him. This put an incredibly strain on things. At any second he could have asked me to be with him and I would have declared a very emphatic "DUH!" But whenever I brought up the subject to him of our officiality, his apprehensions were the same. I never once blamed him for this, but it only made it harder to face the questions from everyone else as to why he wasn't my boyfriend.


His feelings made perfect sense to me as he explained them in our intimate time together alone. My reiterating them never came out as rational and my friends and family began to grow increasingly concerned that I was being strung along. On the night of January 30th, I was talking to him on AIM on my laptop in the living room. My mom asked what I was doing so I told her- I was talking to Kyle. Cue the barrage of questions and accusations regarding his lack of intentions with me. When the people whose job it is to keep you safe and grow you up well tell you you are being played for a fool, no matter how much you KNOW that what they're saying isn't true, it starts to feel true. I have never ever once ever in my life ever doubted Kyle's feelings for me were exactly as he was telling me. But their questions gave me questions.


It was during all this frustration that Kyle happened to have asked what I was up to. So I told him. At length. He asked some qualifying questions and then he disappeared. He was gone. After a few minutes he went idle.


I could have KILLED HIM. I nearly cried. Here I was pouring my frustrations to him, facing an inquisition and feeling pretty shitty in general. And he walked away.
But. He came back. He came back and told me that he had gone to have a discussion with HIS parents. To let them know that he did in fact have intentions with a girl named Scout. And that he was going to act on them.


And that's pretty much it. We got together that night. I changed my Facebook status and everything. It was fairly awesome. And I love him. It was a long ride but we both agree that it was well worth the wait. The ending of this story was sort of anticlimactic. But the whole story isn't over. And every moment I spend with him makes it better and better. I can't say now that he's "the one." We aren't anywhere NEAR that point. We both have hang ups to work through and neither of us even WANTS to make those decisions, let alone is ready to do so. But we're enjoying the journey together and that's all you can ask for.


I love him.

Writing Assignment #1

I suppose so far I am doing fairly well in keeping this regularly updated. Of course, it's been three days. So I will try not to get ahead of myself.

As a recap of recent events, well, there are none.

Yesterday I just worked, pretty much. We finished our monthly price audit and did some other necessary upkeep on the store. Nothing too totally draining or hectic but still made a pretty decent dent in our completely huge list of shit we need to do. Afterwards, my coworker (who happens to be one of my best friends (oh yea, and recently my boss)) went to Target so she could buy herself and me some shampoo. And then to Walmart for pretzels. Have you ever had Buffalo pretzels? Go. Now.

Today I accomplished very little beyond several loads of laundry. In unpacking old bags of clothes, I came across some missed items including my infancy baby blanket, my 100% cashmere BR sweater from Goodwill, all of my nice dress skirts and slacks, my Snuggie, my favorite dress and all of my "special occasion" gowns. Not an entirely productive day, but at least it was interesting. The very best part of it all was being able to spend quite a bit of time on Skype with my boyfriend.

Bear with me for a bit while I tell you a bit about one of the greatest parts of my life right now.

I've never had a relationship wherein we "took it slow." My formula is pretty much "Nice to meet you, we get along. Let's live together."

So I exaggerate, but really, I've always moved pretty moronically fast in relationships. The outrageous downside to this is of course that there is no foundation of friendship on which to build your connection with one another.

In August, I began to build a friendship with a young man named Kyle. We met in an internet community specific for residents of Arizona to get to know one other and extend their networks. I was already heavily involved in this community and had begun the process of organizing a party for all of us so that we could socialize offline and become closer friends. I knew mostly everyone who was to be in attendance though many of them didn't know one another in real life.

Kyle, Reala as he was called, was someone I had conversed with on a fair number of occasions, though we weren't as close aa myself and many of the others in this community but we got along well enough and I really wanted him to attend. In the course of arranging and providing everyone with the party details, he and I exchanged phone numbers in early September and began texting frequently. Come the night of the party in mid-September, he was my ride and when he picked me up that night we met in person for the first time.

Following that night, he and I began to text one another more and more frequently and it wasn't long until it became several hours a day spent sending text messages back and forth. He and I both had busy schedules and while we agreed we wanted to hang out again, we weren't really sure when we would find the time. It ended up coming a month later when he picked me up after work and we went out for Chinese food. It was on this night that it began coming to light that he and I thought very similarly about many things. Our personalities aligned all too well and it was clear to us both, or at least to me, that we would benefit greatly from a friendship. It was also clear to me that he was insanely good looking. And that I wanted to kiss him.

We did not kiss that night. Over the course of the next five weeks, it got to the point that if we were both awake, we were texting each other. Though, still, we didn't have very much free time, we agreed we needed to see each other again. One night in mid November he asks me if I would accompany him to a movie next week. No. Seriously. He said "Scout, would you like to see Immortals with me next week?" I still to this day don't know if he was "asking me out on a date" but frankly, I don't care. The idea of seeing him again thrilled me. I had grown so attached to his friendship and the connection we shared. Even though I'd only met him twice face-to-face, I knew I wanted a chance to be with him. And spending an evening with him, seeing a movie with him, was one step closer to that objective. We were both intensely nervous that night, though we were both hiding it quite well. We arrived too early at the outdoor mall and ended up spending some delightful quality time in front of a fireplace just talking. It was perfect. Once in the theater, the tension between us may just as well have been a wall for as thick and, sadly, impenetrable, as it was. Both too shy to touch the other, the movie played without action from either of us. Afterward, he drove me home. No. This was not the night I was to get my kiss.

Following that night, we had a conversation about how we both had intended to make a move on the other and both lacked the courage to do so. We discussed having wanted to put the arm rest up, take down that wall, and hold one another in the dark of the theater. We talked about how we each had wanted that night to end with a kiss and how neither of us could muster the nerve to do so. Just over a week after that night, he asked me again to see a movie with him. I very happily accepted and spent the whole day on edge, anxious for this night. Hoping for more than last time. He arrived to pick me up and we drove to the theater. We got out of the car and met behind it. I started walking toward the theater and he said "Wait." I turned to see what would hold us up and he pulled me to him and kissed me. Just like that. No warning. His lips against mine. My blood rushing to my cheeks, my heart and mind racing, caught so beautifully off guard. I returned the kiss gladly, beaming with pride, joy, lust, thoroughly enamored with this boy in front of me. When I finally stumbled back from him, I couldn't even speak. The ability to form a coherent thought was completely elusive to me. I remember what I did was to wrap my sweater tightly around me and try with all my might to contain my smile as we walked in silence to the ticket booth. As I type this, I've begun to cry. I didn't know then how much I would grow to love him and what a truly magical moment that would come to be in my life. It was electric then when it was a mere infatuation. I can hardly withstand the swell of emotion I feel now. I am such a GIRL!!

The movie itself went largely without incident. We did put the arm rest up, though not much holding occurred for our sheer lack of finesse. Afterward, however, when he drove me back to my car left in the parking lot of my work, we spent quite a while there in his backseat. Talking. ...Talking.

You would think this would be the point where I finally scored a new beau. You would think after that night we decided to become an item, knowing we connected well enough to begin to build a budding relationship. You would think that. But you would be wrong.

For now, though. I'm tired. I was instructed to update my blog tonight and I did that. I feel this is a good stopping point. Everyone loves a part two. If not, Hell, no one else will read this anyway.

If You Fail to Plan, You Plan to Fail

After expressing my concerns with my boyfriend about my inability to maintain a blog, I have decided I am going to devise some rules for my own sake to make sure that I am following through with this until it becomes habit.


Rule number one: I MUST write a blog at LEAST once a week. I will up this to twice a week once I become more accustomed. Being that I have no worldly obligations beyond work, there is no reason I can't keep this commitment. I officially REQUIRE myself to write every single Tuesday if not more frequently.


Rule number two: I will keep a day-to-day record of significant events to recap in each entry. Being that the purpose of this endeavor is to provide a reminder to my future self of how my life was, it is important that I keep myself up to date with myself and not cheat myself out of any memories. This will also serve as fodder for when I don't really have anything to say. If nothing else at all, I can boringly rehash my week in retrospect in hopes that other topics are therein inspired.


Rule number three: Every important event must be reiterated here as soon after its occurrence as possible, lest I forget critical details or worse, to record the event at all. As the whole purpose of this endeavor is to serve as a reminder of my past for my future self, I would be doing a great disservice to myself to omit these most crucial moments. Such events shall include; significant social gatherings, moments in which I exhibit any intensely heightened emotion, pretty much any story worth retelling to an uninvolved acquaintance.


Rule number four: While at this exact time I don't have the intention of advertising this blog in any way or even really discussing it with anyone (apart from the one person with whom I already have) for any reason, should I acquire readers at any time in the future, any requests, prompts or questions they have for me will take precedence as a topic for entry and will be addressed at the first possible opportunity. In the meantime, I will take it upon myself in the course of each day to make note of topic ideas so that I can try to avoid stagnating with this journal ergo assisting myself in keeping it active.


Rule number five: Additions to the list of rules are welcome at any time.

It Doesn't Even Make Sense How Bad I Am At This

Damn near every day of my life I wish I maintained some sort of documentation of my daily life.
Something that I can refer back to when I'm 45 and think "Oh, gosh that was such a great day."
I am so severely UNdisciplined, though, that this never actually pans out for me. I have strewn through my room in various boxes or on various bookshelves notebooks containing scattered journal entries and the like, but nothing with such a dedicated purpose.
I love reading journals and diaries. It's a living document. A record of one's life and experiences. How completely awesome is that??
Very. That's how awesome. Very awesome. And I so so want that for myself. I just can't ever stay the hell on board! I don't know for certain that this is my eighty-fifth shot at this, but Hell, close enough.


My intention with this journal is to do nothing more than record what is happening in my life. So that someday, I can refer back to this and recall that which has happened to me, the ways I felt, the experiences I had and with whom they were shared. I want that so bad for myself.


Here's hoping I am able to stick with it this time. For my own sake.


I don't expect anyone to read this other than myself. Should you stumble across it though and find it worth your time, stick around. If I thought my life bland or uninteresting, I wouldn't have any desire to record and reflect. If you stumble across it and don't see a point in staying, that's fair too. If you never see it at all, you won't be reading this message anyhow.


And from here, I don't know where to go. Do I summarize my life? Do I detail my day? Neither option seems totally important at this exact moment. My life and this day are fairly inconsequential at this exact moment in time.


A brief summary, I am twenty years old. I work in retail sales and live in the incredible Valley of the Sun. I am in a thoroughly fulfilling relationship and simply adore my friends and family. Everything else will bring itself to light as time goes on. Or I will forget all about this blog before much time passes. Seems equal chance for both.