WA#1 Cont.

Shut up!
I know I said I would post every Tuesday. But I ALSO said I would post at least once a week. And I am exceeding that. So get off my BACK!


Anyway, I couldn't post last night because I was out way the Hell too late. Kyle had a bad day at school and wanted to see me after I got off work and after going out for frozen yogurt and hanging around Target, we ended up sitting in his car until one in the morning. By the time I got home I was beat to death and wouldn't have been able to write anything coherent.


Where did I leave off previously? I think I said we kissed but weren't dating.


Now I have to give a bit of insight. Kyle has been in one previous relationship. And it was apparently an insanely dysfunctional and manipulative one. When he tells me stories of his ex, I actually get pretty mad at all the mindgames she played and everything he was put through.
My romantic past isn't much nicer. He has trust issues. I have self-esteem issues. Neither of us was really emotionally ready or mentally equipped to get involved with someone else.


So after that completely awesome night, we didn't make any decisions. We just continued seeing each other as frequently as we were able. Where previously we were hanging out once a month, it was now once a week or more. We'd discussed our pasts and he explained his hesitation to be in a relationship with me. I understood his reasons and was willing to wait. At the end of the day, when the person you're holding and kissing and loving is smiling right at you, it's not really a matter of consequence what our social titles are.


We spent Christmas together. He outdid everyone else in my life combined in his gifts to me; A HUGE Marvel character encyclopedia, a HUGE book on the X-Men and a HUGE body pillow. I just got him a crappy little pillow and a crappy little coffee cup. =( The night itself, though, was more perfect than I could have dreamed. After that night, my feelings for him escalated pretty intensely and it became more than evident to those close to me that I had real intentions of being with him. This put an incredibly strain on things. At any second he could have asked me to be with him and I would have declared a very emphatic "DUH!" But whenever I brought up the subject to him of our officiality, his apprehensions were the same. I never once blamed him for this, but it only made it harder to face the questions from everyone else as to why he wasn't my boyfriend.


His feelings made perfect sense to me as he explained them in our intimate time together alone. My reiterating them never came out as rational and my friends and family began to grow increasingly concerned that I was being strung along. On the night of January 30th, I was talking to him on AIM on my laptop in the living room. My mom asked what I was doing so I told her- I was talking to Kyle. Cue the barrage of questions and accusations regarding his lack of intentions with me. When the people whose job it is to keep you safe and grow you up well tell you you are being played for a fool, no matter how much you KNOW that what they're saying isn't true, it starts to feel true. I have never ever once ever in my life ever doubted Kyle's feelings for me were exactly as he was telling me. But their questions gave me questions.


It was during all this frustration that Kyle happened to have asked what I was up to. So I told him. At length. He asked some qualifying questions and then he disappeared. He was gone. After a few minutes he went idle.


I could have KILLED HIM. I nearly cried. Here I was pouring my frustrations to him, facing an inquisition and feeling pretty shitty in general. And he walked away.
But. He came back. He came back and told me that he had gone to have a discussion with HIS parents. To let them know that he did in fact have intentions with a girl named Scout. And that he was going to act on them.


And that's pretty much it. We got together that night. I changed my Facebook status and everything. It was fairly awesome. And I love him. It was a long ride but we both agree that it was well worth the wait. The ending of this story was sort of anticlimactic. But the whole story isn't over. And every moment I spend with him makes it better and better. I can't say now that he's "the one." We aren't anywhere NEAR that point. We both have hang ups to work through and neither of us even WANTS to make those decisions, let alone is ready to do so. But we're enjoying the journey together and that's all you can ask for.


I love him.